Acts of Forgiveness

Faith Journeys of a Gay Priest

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In 1980s America, coming out as gay as a father and husband was a significant journey for anyone to make. Coming out as gay as a priest guaranteed immersion into controversy, contradiction, and challenge. This book tells of the Reverend Canon Ted Karpf’s navigation of new social and romantic journeys, all within the context of his priestly vocation in the Episcopal Church.

Covering from 1968 to 2018, Karpf recounts his vivid memories, life-changing dreams and resonant reflections on living a life of faith in a socially and politically tumultuous period. His narratives are crafted as poetic meditations on enduring values and meaning, which can remind any reader that we are neither abandoned nor alone, and that forgiveness is a fulfilling way of living in a world of contradictions.

Acts of Forgiveness is now available on Audible!

Endorsements

Acts of Forgiveness: Faith Journeys of a Gay Priest is a beautiful work reminding again that there is no future without forgiveness; there is no faith without love. This book animates these truths through a poetic documented legacy.

While billed as a memoir, this very readable work feels more like an extended poem or meditation. In its thematic, rather than chronological organization, Articles of Faith: a priest’s tale, also reveals the influence of the author’s years in Africa. Here, individual stories interplay with reflections on their meaning—swirling, circling, occasionally overlapping—inevitably coming together to form a richly textured, instructive narrative. Woven throughout the whole is a reverence for authentic encounter with others. Karpf clearly is unafraid to engage with those very alike and radically different from himself, going beyond meeting them to learning from them.

As American society increasingly fractures into self-selecting enclaves of like-mindedness, Acts of Forgiveness proclaims a very different approach to life. Such an approach is bold yet vulnerable, values interdependence over individuality, and is unapologetically reliant on the sacred and mysterious. Seekers of meaning and coherence in our uncertain times should find much in this book to challenge their convictions and encourage their quests.

Ted Karpf’s life journey embodies Michelangelo’s working vision: ‘I saw the angel in the marble and carved until I set him free.’ That symbolizes the splendid arc of Karpf’s life — an evolution from unformed possibility, through great trials, to a loving, forgiving, contributing member of humanity. Karpf’s implicit message of hope — ‘Here’s how I came through. You can too!’— is urgently needed in our wayward era. Acts of Forgiveness: Faith Journeys of Gay Priest is inspirational autobiography at its best.

It is a truism that being Christian requires—demands—love and forgiveness. What we don’t so often acknowledge in our age of bumper-sticker wisdom is the enormous courage necessary to live love and forgiveness day by day. In Acts of Forgiveness, Ted has shown us how it’s done.

In Acts of Forgiveness: Faith Journeys of Gay Priest, Canon Ted Karpf promises to “turn the dross of my life into gold,” and keeps that promise with vulnerability, insight, and compassion for himself and others. He meticulously spins out the tale of his life, giving us a healthy reminder at every turn that God is to be found in the most unlikely of places. It is clear, in this reflection on his life, that he has indeed learned that skill and executes it the task of seeing and hearing the world with precision, insight, and clarity.

In Acts of Forgiveness, The Reverend Canon Ted Karpf weaves together the many threads of his life’s work in ministry by sharing the challenges beset upon him while seeking to remain faithful to his call. Time and again, Ted exposes the challenges of working domestically and internationally as an openly gay man and a priest working in a ministry that all in the church had not come to embrace, understand or believe that it even had a place in the church especially, to it’s shame, the Church in Mother Africa.

Ted’s passion and personification of Dr. King’s concept of the “fierce urgency of now” Is evident throughout every aspect this compelling work. In this powerful reflection and sharing of a life’s journey where his feet never wearied, and his faith never waned, he presents a life lesson to be read, marked and inwardly digested of what it truly means to keep the faith.

Acts of Forgiveness is a beautiful and poignant story of how our willingness to face the overwhelming challenges we encounter in our relationships with ourselves and others, by choice or by chance, can heal us as individuals, institutions and communities. And, while the story is told in the context of the AIDS epidemic and coming to terms with being gay, it is ultimately a story of the triumph of faithfulness, forgiveness and grace in the face of shame, stigma and discrimination. It is a must read for anyone who has struggled to emerge as who they truly are from a complicated past. I think that speaks to most of us.

If Easter thrills you, read this book. If your faith is wobbly, read this book. If you wonder whether the church can still remain a moral force in these angry and divisive times, read this book.

In his intimate and profound memoir, Ted Karpf details a lifetime of crucifixion and resurrection. He was betrayed by those pledged to love him from his vicious parents, to the gay lover he left his marriage for, to the close friend who cheated him out of most of his life’s savings, and yet, he triumphed. He was brought to his knees by the struggles of his children. He was silenced for years by the church he was dedicated to serving, and yet, he triumphed.

He triumphed through the sheer power of his love and trust in God, and by his determination to relentlessly forgive. Acts of Forgiveness: Faith Journeys of Gay Priest, overflows with the joy that makes Easter a verb.

This memoir is a treasured journey with Father Ted to critical corners in his life and career. For some of us who thought we knew most of relevant details, he has honored us to reveal far more than we ever knew. The narrative is honest and gracefully written. His love and admiration for others is paramount; his willingness to admit disappointments and failures brings texture and emotion to the telling of his story. This story not only shares experiences of almost five decades, it also sheds light on longer and complex backgrounds of ancestors, traditions, and global settings. As a Gay priest’s tale, Father Ted celebrates his calling and his ordination. In doing so, he invites the reader to experience one’s own faith and failings.

A poignant, courageous and gripping story of a boy surmounting an abusive childhood, then dealing with abuse from bigotry and prejudice in his chosen church as he struggles to follow his call to priesthood. He discovers how God enables him to find forgiveness and love in spite of this. The heroic story is also fascinating historically as God’s healing mercy plays out through the AIDS epidemic, the church’s response to it, or not, and the evolution of societal attitudes towards sexuality, with a backdrop of extensive international service. It is inspiring.

Born out of his poet’s soul and a real talent for written communication, Articles of Faith is so much more than a well-constructed legacy for his deeply-loved family. It is excellent reading for all who are called into vocation only to discover that Church must never be confused with our God of love. Especially with Ted’s potent mix of HIV/AIDS activist, gay and divorcee. I was particularly touched and encouraged to learn that we share the battle to live the lessons we teach.

Not least, Ted and his ex-wife Kaye’s story of mutual love, respect and dignity is a beacon for the many good Christian couples caught in the same web woven with the threads of human sexuality denied.

When I finished reading Acts of Forgiveness: Faith Journeys of a Gay Priest, I realized I had just experienced the book-length version of Nietzsche’s aphorism, “only out of chaos a star is born.” I did not feel as though I was reading a text; rather, I was sojourning with Ted Karpf as he spoke candidly, and lyrically, about his complex existence, with its struggles, joys, successes, and failures laid out with precision, clarity, and honesty. This is not just a story of Ted’s journey: it is also a template for others seeking to own their chaos and make a star.

Acts of Forgiveness, his spiritual autobiography, Father Ted affirms that priesthood is not a fainthearted withdrawal from the world but a bold embodiment of it as eucharist: a call to remain sanguine and faithful no matter how bloody or messy that world has become. Describing his own struggles with sexual identity as well his clashes with church hierarchies who frowned on his AIDS ministries, this book is a compelling account of what it means to be authentic in a Christian context.

Like Teilhard de Chardin, Henri Nouwen, and Simone Weil before him, Ted Karpf has joined the company of other modern mystics who find salvation by embracing the world, not rejecting it. His heart-filled memoir is an affirmation of Frederick Buechner’s declaration that “The place God calls you is the place where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.”

Ted Karpf has given himself to us in Articles of Faith, as he has given himself to others throughout his ministry, whether at the epicenter of the HIV/Aids crisis in Dallas in the 1980’s or working to stem the global AIDS pandemic in South Africa. To speak of his service to humanity would be enough for a significant memoir. But, he has done much more. He also shares the anguish of coming out as a gay priest alongside many of his parishioners in the conservative Dallas Diocese of the time. A hero for his ministry, yet forbidden to minister, when he declared his sexual orientation.

A hero for his ministry, yet forbidden to minister, when he declared his sexual orientation. Courage and integrity are the hallmarks of this deeply compassionate and painfully honest memoir. Ted Karpf writes, “What have I learned?” Faithfulness in apparent small things over the long haul is faithfulness in great things over a lifetime.” May each of us live this lesson with the love that he displays.

Henry James famously counseled would-be writers, “Try to be one of those on whom nothing is lost.” Ted Karpf is one of those people. In this memoir, he shares a lifetime of changes and challenges, betrayals and reconciliations. His overarching theme is forgiveness, especially when it is next to impossible to grant. Looking backward, he is nonetheless moving on: his Articles of Faith describes a pilgrimage toward God that is ongoing. Honest and bold, he makes you want to be his companion on the way.

Karpf has written a difficult and important book, a social justice memoir that challenges secular readers with its religious language, abusers with its painful analysis, and activists with its stories of good deeds punished. He also conducts a rigorous accounting of his own shortcomings, what in Jewish tradition is called a cheshbon hanefesh. In so doing, this Methodist-turned-Episcopal-priest models the very trans-religious values he holds so dear, and honors the memory of his Jewish grandfather in the process.

Articles of Faith is a remarkable and compelling life chronicle of faith formation and maturation; discovery and identity; daunting challenges and obstacles. Most of all, it is a personal journey of healing, forgiveness, gratefulness and love for others.

Articles of Faith: A Priest's Tale by Ted Karpf is a very personal memoir of one individual's understanding of God's dealings with him, set in the times he has lived/participated in. His Christian journey has been a pilgrimage including nearly four decades as a priest in the Episcopal Church. He invites the reader along on his journey through deeply felt personal experiences.

Reading Ted Karpf’s tale as a priest during arguably one of the most bitterly divisive times in church history lay wide open my own struggle as a priest of the same era. Not always easy to read, the raw honesty of his account set alongside his unending faithfulness, never cheaply procured but somehow utterly intrinsic to who he is as a man and as a child of God, let alone as a priest, moved me more deeply than I can say. It is, if not the, at least one, compelling story of the church over the last nearly half-century. Throughout his life had Ted Karpf chosen not to look for hope, he could hardly have been blamed. In these pages, though, the story is told of a man, long void of naiveté, whose undying hope bears witness to that for which we long most deeply.

Exquisitely written, this book is story-telling at its best. It is a deeply personal story, while also being an ancient story that connects long-ago ancestors with future generations. It is a story of being human with God. The Reverend Canon Ted Karpf has shared his life with generous truth and un-compromised integrity. He reveals the intimate bonds between human relationships and self-knowing, abuse and resilience, mentoring and growth, ritual and mystery, closeness and distance, life and death. Readers will long savor this book as a testimony to the complicated, arduous journey of life, imbued at every moment with the mysteries and loving presence of God.

It is indeed difficult to pinpoint the exact genre of Ted Karpf’s articles: a biography, stories of often painful history, theological and philosophical reflections or a sort of guidance through life by own example? For me this diversity is the beauty of the book, written in parts in a poetical language to draw the reader into all the story of a man with faith sharing his walk with God and the people around him. Ted Karpf indeed does what we all are called to do: giving witness of his life in relationship to the divine and with his life of the divine and its beauties and challenges. Reading it feels like an encouragement of reflecting on the readers own story with God and mankind. When we believe that the Bible contains stories of the experience between human beings and God, then we are all called to add to this divine story—Articles of Faith is an excellent example of such a calling—and I am convinced that reading this book will benefit those searching for words to describe their own life story, never told – yet…

Throughout these chapters, Rev. Karpf reflects on his lifetime as a son, father, grandfather, and priest in light of the values of living honestly and responsibly. Gritty and gripping, his resonant narrative voice leads us through events of pain, horror, betrayal, and abandonment. But he brings us ultimately to beautiful moments of liberation, assurance, and hope. Weaving through his stories of love and loss, he negotiates the waters of gender identity from his earliest years to the present as a gay man in a heteronormative world. Gritty and gripping, Rev. Karpf’s resonant narrative voice leads us through events of pain, horror, betrayal, and abandonment. Ultimately, he brings us to beautiful moments of liberation, assurance, and hope. Karpf writes: “Each moment spent there—Africa—would be about real life, life clinging desperately to life, and curiously, about a holy life, pretty or not. It was about real, honest-to-God life.” The same can be said about reading his memoir.

Forgiving and loving yourself for who you truly you are, despite what you’ve done or didn’t do, are as important for living fully as a person of faith as forgiving and loving others despite who they are or what they did or didn’t do. People of faith hope that God is so forgiving and so loving toward us. But how can we believe that God so loves us, and how can we be that loving and forgiving person in the opportunities big and small that life presents to us all? Canon Karpf explores these issues with raw and excruciating honesty and with deep spiritual focus.

Each chapter addresses different Articles of Faith and describes heart-wrenching and heartwarming episodes of learning them from his life working in the Church and in HIV/AIDS, and from growing as a father, husband, son, and friend. Lay people and clergy alike will find Karpf’s book a remarkable guide to explore our own past, to assess how we are living in the present, and to consider how we might act or want to become. His is a wonderfully raw story, and he offers a wonder-filled gift and guide to people of all faiths. Karpf’s story is not yet over, and neither is ours. We may think or fear that who we are is defined by the pains and joys of our past; but Karpf’s Articles teach how we can become the God-beloved person we truly want to be; and how we can change the next chapters of our lives, and very possibly, how our own story might end.

Articles of Faith: a priest's tale...this particular priest's tale...will both inspire its readers and, perhaps, render them speechless, as they follow both the worn and unworn of path of Father Ted Karpf. His story, told calmly and honestly in considerable detail, teaches the reader what it can mean, to serve The Lord and His children, while being on an individual rocky path of discovery and acceptance. Though not a summation, the final chapter is like a fireside chat, allowing the reader to put the pieces together. I love it!

If you are afraid, read this book.

If you are alone, read this book.

If your world is collapsing, read this book.

If you think it is easy being the one in charge, read this book.

If the light has turned to darkness, read this book.

Thank you, Ted Karpf.

Canon Karpf’s Articles of Faith gives an account of his struggle for forgiveness of others and, ultimately, of himself. His determined struggle for wholeness and peace invites us to begin—or continue—our own journey of hope and faith.

We are all travelers, and our life’s journey is both particular yet also finds echoes in the journey of fellow travelers. The honesty in these writings speaks volumes about the author who shares openly his journey through pain and joy, hope and disappointment. Anyone seeking to understand the nature of calling/vocation will be encouraged by Ted Karpf’s own journey which shows that for many of us we all walk by a winding way to find our way to God.

There is no straightforward path to truth and God does not write in straight lines. The writing is rich in poetry and so descriptive as to make one enter into the picture . Writing about an evening in Zululand he talks of “The dried rustling grasses hissing as the fearful serpent of death slithered away.”

At times it was a hard read when the author deals with his growing up, suffering abuse and then living in an abusive relationship with a partner after his divorce from his wife. Yet here one is encouraged as Ted shares the influence of Archbishop Desmond Tutu who wrote “No future without Forgiveness,” and Ted found himself having to learn to love and forgive and so accepting our weakness and vulnerability. This priest’s tale will encourage and enrich anyone who is serious about celebrating life.

With searing honesty Ted shares his longings and learnings. His life stories show us how, through the spiritual practice of forgiveness, he comes home to himself and comes home to God. The origins of the word “priest” connote “elder”. Through the wisdom and fidelity of this text Ted Karpf has earned the honorific “Holy Elder”.

This deeply felt story of the author’s complex journey through life is challenging, as it invites the reader to consider the same questions about faith, family, commitment, service and identity that he has faced and answered over the years. Taking those questions personally and seriously may lead to different destinations, but will none-the-less prove of value.

Ted Karpf’s memoir is a grace-filled testament to the power of faith. With a narrative that combines pathos, humor, and deep-seated wisdom, Karpf invites his readers to share in his faith journey—while also helping others discover the deep reservoirs within Christianity. This beautifully written memoir repeatedly reminds the reader of the truth within Reinhold Niebuhr’s assertion, “nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone; therefore, we are saved by love.” This memoir is an important read for ministers, caregivers, justice seekers and all who care deeply about lived Christianity.

Artfully told narratives that challenge the reader and—at the same time—call us into companionship with the author are infrequently encountered treasured windows into the soul. Articles of Faith: A Priest’s Tale is exactly such a treasure. It reminds us all that forgiveness is a way of life, which ultimately calls each of us to become seekers of justice for all people.

In the tradition of the rabbis, Father Ted Karpf calls upon both his heritage and experience to bring the reader into a place of sensitivity and compassion. We literally "suffer with” in order to achieve healing and activate a more hopeful future; not because of the suffering, but in spite of it.

In Islam, one of the 99 names of God is “Al Ghaffar” which translates as repeatedly forgiving. In Articles of Faith: A Priest's Tale, Ted Karpf gives an unflinching account of a life of love, rejection, grieving, and, above all, repeated forgiveness. His memoir draws on the many struggles and gifts of his sojourning, pilgrimages and encounters to reflect on what it is to be “real” to one’s self and others.

This book contains the painful, courageous and even funny stories of Karpf’s unusual and challenging life: stories of a faithful man longing for God; of a gay priest immersed in the sorrow and tragedy of HIV/AIDS ministry and policy, even as he himself was rejected by his Church; of the struggles of reconciliation after a brutal childhood; of the challenges of divorced parenting and the besotted joy of grand-parenting; and of the anguish and delights of an open heart.

Ted Karpf has written a luminous, clear memoir that invites the reader to accompany him on his life pilgrimage. Son and father, spouse and partner, priest and seeker. A gay man, often ‘a prophet without honor’ (Mark 6:4) in his own Church, Ted is an inveterate speaker of truth, a champion for the wounded and those without armor or weapons. And, first and last, seeking his own truth and ground in life. Articles of Faith is a gift both to those who know Father Karpf and those on their own complex journeys.

Canon Ted Karpf’s memoir—Articles of Faith: A Priest’s Tale—of his journey toward identity, purpose and resilience, is a moving story, beautifully told. His example of radical forgiveness both resonates with me and challenges me.

Father Karpf's moving memoir, Articles of Faith: a priest’s tale, is of great historical significance for he documents with candor the spiritual and pastoral journey of a gay priest in The Episcopal Church during the decades in which this Church first came to acknowledge the ministry and service of LGBTQ men and women. This book is an invaluable contribution to the historical narrative of The Episcopal Church.

Ted Karpf has produced a remarkable book, a religious journey through our times, clear, honest and compelling. This amazing book should be on the Must Read shelf of any clergy person in our time!

In his memoir Articles of Faith: A Priest’s Tale, the Rev. Ted Karpf weaves a tapestry of spiritual journeying. From his beginnings in Texas as a closeted young man with a desire to serve God, to his vocation as an openly gay Episcopal priest, to his later calling as a public health worker in South Africa and Europe, his story is one of faithful leave-taking, and learning to live into the unknown. Karpf is a natural raconteur.

Those familiar with Ted Karpf’s decades of ministry know him as a priest, counselor, statesman, educator, and humanitarian. His work caring for souls touched by the early days of the AIDS epidemic led him to a presidential post providing spiritual and medical aid at a global level. Some of us have had the pleasure of getting to know Ted beyond his public ministry.

Those who read Articles of Faith: a priest’s tale, will have a taste of what Ted Karpf’s friends have long enjoyed: the blessing of his company and his penchant for storytelling that ultimately instructs and uplifts. Herein Ted describes his deeply personal journey through the triumphs and hardships of life and ministry. This is a book from which the next generation of activists and ministers can glean wisdom and encouragement for their own lives, just as we have done in Ted’s company over the years. *(For a more authentic experience of communing with Ted, we suggest reading the book while sipping a beautiful scotch.)

Ted Karpf's life journey in Articles of Faith: a priest’s tale is a witness to dimensions of faith that too often are unseen: pain linked to courage and a resonating empathy, theology translating to a constant urge to act. His voice as a priest and a friend is always strong and demanding, but still more his work takes that voice well into the realms of global as well as local and personal policy change. Few will read his story without asking themselves what more they themselves could do, even as they marvel in Ted's remarkable journeys of soul and hands.

Articles of Faith: A priest’s tale tells the truths that needed to be told.“Life is like a train of moods, like a string of beads, and, as we pass through them, they prove to be many-colored lenses which paint the world their own hue . . . ,” said Ralph Waldo Emerson. Ted is a superb raconteur. His voice, like melting chocolate, invites his audience to relish his words, expressing himself so lyrically, and so clearly that he invokes emotions that are often suppressed . . . carefully crafting this most complex narrative into art; yet the messages, subtle and sagacious, remaining undeniably understood.

May 5th Webinar on Aids & Religion

Please join us for this conversation about Christian activism during the HIV/AIDS crisis, featuring leaders who have been at the forefront of AIDS work since the 1980s. Anthony Petro, Ph.D. will moderate this dialogue with Rev. Dr. Yvette Flunder, Rev. Canon Ted Karpf and Rev. Dr. Steve Pieters. What challenges has the AIDS crisis presented, especially for leaders of religious communities that welcome queer people and people of color? How have progressive Christian leaders responded to the emerging and ongoing pandemic? And what work is left to be done?

Read more about this program at this link. Sign up here to get the link to participate in this webinar.

Acts of Forgiveness

Faith Journeys of a Gay Priest

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May 5th Webinar on Aids & Religion

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